Introducing Happiness™ – Only at Michigan!

Tired of gloom, doom, and early summer malaise? Feeling emotionally flat, under-inspired, or just a little "meh"?

Don't reach for another latte — reach for your wallet. Because science says: GIVING makes you HAPPIER.

Yes, you read that right. Researchers have shown that generosity activates the same parts of your brain that light up when you eat chocolate, fall in love, or successfully parallel park on the first try. 💛

And here at the University of Michigan, we've perfected the formula. It's simple, fast-acting, and side-effect-free (unless you count excessive smiling, occasional happy tears, and spontaneous humming of "The Victors"). All it takes... is a gift.

How does it work?

When you support a cause at U-M that speaks to your soul — whether it’s student scholarships, climate research, cancer breakthroughs, or marching band uniforms — your generosity doesn’t just help them…It heals you.

Choose Your Dose of Joy:

💛 $5 — The Mood Booster

Side effects may include fleeting euphoria, improved karma, and a sudden craving to high-five strangers.

💙 $25 — The Gratitude Glow

Users report a 63% increase in warm fuzzies, plus a statistically significant uptick in spontaneous whistling.

💛 $50 — The Purpose-Powered Pick-Me-Up™

Clinically shown to restore your belief in humanity (and possibly cure the Sunday Scaries).

💙 $100 — Euphoria UltraMax 1000

Warning: May cause feelings of intense connection, meaning, and an irresistible urge to share this campaign.

💛 $250+ — The Maize & Blue Miracle

This is the premium formula. We’re talking the kind of joy that inspires poetry, dance, and updating your LinkedIn to say “Philanthropist.”

🧘‍♂️ Give today. Feel better immediately.

Support what you love. Heal the world (and yourself) in one glorious click.

No appointment necessary. No insurance required. Just you, your heart, and a cause at Michigan.

🌀 Side effects may vary. Happiness not guaranteed, but strongly correlated. Our lawyers wanted the fine print to be 12x longer, but after making a gift to Michigan, they agreed that three sentences was just right.